May 31
Cordless Jump Rope
A cordless jump rope is an oxymoron, isn’t it? Nope. 
Lester Clancey just received patent #7037243 for it. Netscape News says:
“why jump rope without a rope?
It’s perfect for the clumsy, Clancy said. If you are still jumping, you’re still using your legs as well as your arms, and getting the cardiovascular workout. You just don’t have to worry about tripping on the rope.
It is also good for mental institutions and prisons where rope is a suicide risk, said Clancy, who works as a laundry coordinator in a state prison. And low ceiling fans aren’t a hazard any more, he said.”
Doesn’t it seem rather detremental to give a mental patient a cordless jump rope? Think about it:
“Here Jim, I know you can’t have a rope, so have this cordless jump rope - it feels just like you’re jumping rope…”
“There’s no rope! How am I supposed to jump rope without a rope?”
“I know you can’t see the rope, Jim. It’s not there. It just feels like it’s there.”
“Why would you give me a jump rope with no rope? Are you trying to make me feel crazy? Don’t you think it’s enough I’m locked in here 24/7? I already know what’s going on - there’s no need to make me feel like a jackass on top of it.”
“Jim, I didn’t mean to make you feel like a jackass;I just want you to jump rope. With no rope. It’s safer, they say.”
“Ok. So the rope isn’t safe. But why give me the handles to pretend to jump rope with? Why not just ask me to pretend to jump rope?”
“Because, Jim, it will motivate you to jump rope”
“Without the rope?”
Around here is where I envision the worker being pummeled with the handles, thereby removing ’safety’ from the equation.
Tags: cordless jump rope, Lester Clancey, patent
